Why Do I Want To Sin???

Written by: Bob Wolf

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. Romans 7:14-20

Paul states in this passage that he his unable to do what he wishes, but does what he dislikes. How is it that our flesh can control our actions so much? I believe I am a Child of God, yet so many times I have such odd thoughts. As a Police Officer I meet all kinds of interesting people. I find myself sometimes thinking of worldly ways to handle situations. I have yet to carry through with it, but often think it would be fun. There are some people I could yell or curse at, some I could just use my baton or taser. But what would God like me to do? I believe he would like me to do what I end up doing, talk things out until every body is happy or can understand why they are getting a ticket. I've never had anyone threaten me or try to fight, but sometimes I wish they would. I wonder to myself," I can go from listening to a Christian radio station while on patrol to wanting to kick someone in the head". I find I can't control my thought from one minute to the next. Once I realize what I'm thinking I try to sing a little loader, some might find it odd if they see me sing in my patrol vehicle. The Holy Spirit has kept me in check for almost five years. Before then I would think of something and then do it, and not feel bad about it. When I started going to church I started feeling bad about what I did. My friend told me that was God working in me.

So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. Romans 7: 21-25

If not for the Holy Spirit what kind of man would I be? I would be very nasty and people would not want to be around me. Some people don't want to be around me now, but that's because I preach to them every now and then. I don't wish to go to Hell, and don't wish that any body I come in contact with go to Hell. I know I can't save them, but maybe I can plant the seed.